


Run A Little Faster

by iminterstellar



Series: changki song inspired one shots [3]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Anger Management, Depression, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Merry Murder Fest, Suicidal Thoughts, misuse of a chainsaw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:07:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23645896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iminterstellar/pseuds/iminterstellar
Summary: trapped together in a less than ideal setting, seven go in but only one comes out; run you little bastards
Relationships: Im Changkyun | I.M/Yoo Kihyun
Series: changki song inspired one shots [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1682287
Comments: 8
Kudos: 7





	Run A Little Faster

**Author's Note:**

> loooootta trauma packed into this one, all the warnings are in the tags as for the rape: it's only mentioned once and doesn't have anything graphic, everything else however is pretty graphic
> 
> song recs: lonely - palaye royale, little bastards - palaye royale, savages - ice nine kills

He was beginning to run out of faith, he was starting to lose his mind too. Just how many days had he spent in this shit hole anyway? Head hanging off the edge of his bed with his legs up against the wall, Changkyun stared at the ceiling and let all the blood rush to his head. Kicking off the wall and swinging his bottom half over his head, he rolled onto the ground thanking his natural flexibility before continuing to stare into nothingness. 

Everything here was painted in various shades of dark greys making the patient’s red jumpsuits stand out. It was so bleak and boring just like everything else in his life. The more time he spent in this place, the more he wished he died in that snowstorm, and well that’s how he got here in the first place; driving home from work in one of the most dangerous canyons in the mountain range in the middle of a snowstorm, his tires slid and he ate the canyon wall. After waking up the first thing he said was “I wish I had died.”

Sitting up and staring at the wall, Changkyun could hear the faint screams of his parents as they fought, even if they weren’t really there. Turning his head towards the door, he saw a five year old version of himself crying as he ran into the argument with his dad’s rainstick in an attempt to stop the fighting only to get yelled at by his mother. Looking away from the door and towards the window, he remembered when he was thirteen, getting pushed out the door of his mother’s apartment by his brother as his mother threatened to kill herself over a petty argument. 

Then came highschool, fucking hell, highschool. From being called the rapist’s little brother and someone threatening to rape Changkyun himself all the way to slamming another student’s head into the lockers and everything in between, it was an all around shit show, most of which he had blocked from his memories completely. The only good thing that came out of the four years was finally getting professional help for his depression, adhd, and anxiety as well as meeting his best and only friend.

Blinking slowly and nearly falling asleep for a second, Changkyun’s eyes shot open as he heard his mother call his name. Deep down he knew that no one from outside the facility’s walls could contact him, but knowing that crazy bitch she’d find a way. Shaking his head in an attempt to get rid of the thoughts, Changkyun could feel his breath start to shorten but he opted to ignore it. Standing up and sitting at his desk, he grabbed his colored pencils and opened his coloring book to a random page hoping it would calm him.

It had worked for a little bit as the paranoia began to set in, the shorter his breaths became, the more he became aware of what was already happening. Pulling his sleeves down and covering his ears with his hands, he squeezed his eyes shut as the tears began to fall. Slowly rocking himself back and forth as he screamed while crying, he began choking on the air that surrounded him. He had had panic attacks before, but never one that turned into an asthma attack. 

Hearing his door open only furthered his panic as someone attempted to talk to him. He didn’t know how much time had passed by the time he calmed down, all he knew was that his body was freezing, and no matter how many blankets he got under that night, he still froze.

xx

It was another group therapy session, this time they were talking about some of the most fun they had at some point in their lives. Changkyun didn’t get the point, instead he sat and unknowingly glared at the male across from him while he played with the wolf plushie his therapist had gifted him in highschool. When it was his turn to share, the only thoughts that were coming to mind for “happy times” were when he was crossfaded at parties.  _ Fuck it. _

“The most fun time that’s coming to mind is when we had a party for an extern that was leaving the hotel I work at, his name is Chris and he’s deaf. We became quick friends because I know some ASL so him, one of the chefs, and I would shit talk people right in front of their faces. It was amazing, they had no idea, whenever they would ask I would just shrug and tell them to learn ASL.” Taking a second to laugh to himself as he rolled the plushie around in his hands, pulling at one of the ears gently, Changkyun continued talking. “Anyway while Chris was there we had another extern, Robert, drink himself to death in the staff housing where all the externs and temps live. It fucked up our head of HR pretty bad. The kitchens had never had a full staff meeting until that point and it made the chefs more cautious around me, always asking if I was okay and how I was doing. I fucking hated it.” Squeezing the plushie tight, Changkyun could feel some of his stress leave his body. “That night when we had Chris’ party I had about six shots, a pretty fuckin fat blunt and a few beers. I felt great and everyone was having so much fun, I was wrestling the externs who were all bigger than me and winning. We actually ended up breaking an outlet that night. I think that was one of the times I had the most fun. I miss working with Chris, I hope he comes back.” Mumbling the last sentence to himself, Changkyun went completely silent waiting to hear if it was good enough, to have some type of approval. The therapist knew he fucking needed it so why wasn’t she fucking giving it. Feeling anger starting to rise, relief washed over him as he heard her say “Very good Changkyun, thank you for sharing-”

Hearing his ear begin to ring, Changkyun put his hand over his ear and pressed as hard as he could in an attempt to stop it. Squeezing his eyes shut as the ringing got louder and everything became muddled, tears began to form in his eyes as a therapist checked on him. As he was taken away from the group all he could manage to say was “It hurts”. His senses overloaded all the time, especially his sight and hearing but this was the worst it had gotten in awhile. Crouching in a corner, he covered both his ears pressing as hard as he could as he cried gently, feeling a hand rubbing up and down his back.

xx

  
  


He wasn’t quite sure how it had happened, maybe it was years of buildup accompanied by failed coping mechanisms, but right now he didn’t really care. Today he found out that his step mom, his most favorite person in the world, had taken a turn for the worst in her cancer treatments and suddenly passed away. His best and only friend had given up on him completely and now his dad was moving away after he had told all the family friends that Changkyun had died that night.

He was truly alone now and had nothing else going for him, even if he knew he had a family at work, they didn’t care all that much for him. Not really anyway.

Today’s bullshit started with the daily therapy session, a check of how he was doing and what thoughts he had. It was a simple response. Cocking his head, Changkyun stared his therapist in her eyes before speaking. “Have you ever felt so alone you wanted to slip into the void never to be seen again? That day is today.” Smiling softly, Changkyun stood and walked away.

Everyone was getting on his nerves today, Hoseok, Hyunwoo, Kihyun, Jooheon, and even Hyungwon, but most of all: Minhyuk. Loud, bright, Lee Fucking Minhyuk. Changkyun swore he would kill the fucker if he was ever given the chance. Hell they should all be happy that it took Changkyun this long to finally lose his mind. Smirking to himself as he lost himself in thought, what he said to his therapist earlier that day had come back to his mind.  _ Today is that day. _

The other six were all trying to pull Changkyun into the conversation as they made their way outside, more than ready for the nighttime air. Hearing Minhyuk say his name, Changkyun snapped his head around as the sentence registered in his head. “Changkyunnie is my favorite out of all of you, cause he doesn’t tease me!” Shooting the other a death glare, he stopped in his tracks completely before throwing his plushie somewhere behind him. He was fucking  _ done. _

Running and jumping on top of the older, Changkyun took him to the ground, hands squeezing around the other’s neck tightening slowly. “Fuck you! I don’t even fucking like you or even talk to you, you fucking bastard!” Feeling Minhyuk grasp at his arms in an attempt to fight back, Changkyun continued applying pressure until the fighting stopped.

Releasing his hold and looking to the others, they all had shocked expressions on their faces, clearly too afraid to move, let alone speak. Standing up from Minhyuk’s still body, Changkyun stared them all down, challenging them to move or even speak. “The same goes for all you motherfuckers. Just because you all knew each other before I got here doesn’t make me any fucking different. We’re all fucked up in the head and we’re here for a fucking reason, but no you bastards only ever talked to me if you had to.” Walking around as he spoke, Changkyun saw something glint behind a tree stump, and well, Changkyun liked shiny things. Picking up the object, Changkyun oohed as he swung it around a couple times. 

“Who the fuck leaves this kind of shit around ya know?” Changkyun joked to himself as he started the engine on the chainsaw. Feeling the engine purr Changkyun chuckled as he walked towards the other males. “One down, five to go. Run you little bastards.”

The first to go was Jooheon, he didn’t put up much of a fight. Instead he laid on the ground and begged for his life as the others ran either to get help or for their lives. 

Face and jumpsuit now covered in blood, Changkyun took one last look at Jooheon’s body before going inside to find the others. He found Hoseok hiding in the exercise room with one of their therapists, who was currently on the phone with someone. Revving the chainsaw he walked towards the duo, watching as Hoseok cried and the therapist did their best to keep the patient calm. Running the machine down the back of the therapist, Changkyun kicked the bleeding body to the side before ripping Hoseok apart. At least he died somewhere he loved.

Walking down the hallways, Changkyun sang to himself as he held the machine in one hand and touched the wall as he walked with the other. Hearing someone run up to him, he swung around and laughed maniacally as the security guard got a big ass gash across his chest. A gasp echoed down the hall from behind him, turning his head, he spotted Kihyun making a beeline for Minhyuk’s room. “How fucking typical. Five Kihyunnie I’m at five now.” Changkyun called down the hallway.

Running down the hall as he chased the pink haired man, he swung open the closet in Minhyuk’s room, easily pulling Hoseok out thanks to all the adrenaline coursing through his veins. “Guess you’re really out of the closet now hyung.” Grabbing Kihyun by the skull and slamming the older into the ground, he heard Kihyun groan in pain, covering his face with his hands as he rolled around a bit. Kihyun was the only one that was remotely nice to him, maybe he would save him for last. Crouching down and looking at Kihyun’s face, Changkyun turned his head to the side as he pulled one of Kihyun’s hands away from his face, looking at him curiously.

“You know, if we didn’t meet here, with this fate, I think I would have fallen in love with you, but instead the six of you had to be assholes huh? Why did you hate me hyungie? You were the only one I wanted to talk to me but I guess I am kinda scary huh?”

“Changkyun.. I-I’m sorry.” Kihyun managed to get out around a couple coughs. Instead of helping the situation it only made it worse.

“Oh? So now you wanna talk to me huh? Only when your life literally depends on it? You’re fucking sick Kihyun.” Picking up Kihyun’s head and slamming it into the ground one last time, Changkyun watched for a minute to make sure the older wasn’t moving. If he was dead or even just unconscious, Changkyun didn’t care. He fucking hated liars.

Standing up, Changkyun called out Hyungwon’s name, pouting afterwards. “Hyungwonnie hyung I wanna play!” He cried again once he was out in the hallways. Hyungwon was the only one that Changkyun couldn’t predict, like Changkyun, the other liked to stick to himself. There weren't a lot of differences between the two of them, but the sound of the chainsaw had become his soundtrack and the movie wasn’t over yet.

Going back outside, he found Hyungwon crying over Minhyuk’s paling body, begging the older to wake up. “He’s dead Hyungwon, just like you.” Swinging the machine above his head he brought it down, cutting through the air and Hyungwon’s shoulder. Hearing the bones crack and fail underneath the chainsaw brought a sinister smile to his face as Hyungwon’s blood joined Jooheon’s across the courtyard. 

Running a hand down his face and smearing the blood, Changkyun pulled his hand away and looked at all the red liquid that caught the moon’s light. “Pretty.” He chuckled to himself before realizing there was still Hyunwoo left. Changkyun didn’t paturically care about the staff members, he actually liked a lot of them. They were nice to him and talked to him even if they didn’t have to and that was all that mattered to him.

The last was Hyunwoo, and oh god Changkyun was going to make it painful once he found the other. Hyunwoo was the only person that had talked to Changkyun willingly and that was on the first day, to make a promise that he would always be with Changkyun and be there to support him to the best of his abilities. 

Humming as he went inside once more, he spotted Hyunwoo sneaking a peak at him from around a corner. “So you’re playing the hide and seek game huh? Spoiler alert: I’ll win.” Running down the hall, Changkyun skid around the corner and revved the engine as he came to the small make-shift movie theater. After that it wasn’t very hard to trap the oldest of the patients.

Backing the other into the corner, Changkyun cut off his limbs one by one until he was disconnected completely.

xx

Changkyun made his way down the now empty and bloody hallways of the facility, laughing quietly to himself as he slowly unzipped the top part of his blood covered jumpsuit. Holding onto the chainsaw loosely with a single hand, the top of his jumpsuit slowly fell down his shoulders and off his arms. Stopping in his tracks, Changkyun ran his free hand down his bloody face once more now that his murder happy fun time was over. 

Hearing police begin to storm the building, Changkyun slowly turned his head and looked at the officer that had found him before smirking once more.

**Author's Note:**

> so uuuh this was partially a vent fic as things become much more Real and much less omnipresent on top of some other stuff, it was also partially practice for space fic which i'm /totally/ using all this time to work on... anyway stan palaye royale and ice nine kills
> 
> i'm not entirely sure how many people are interested or something along those lines, but! i'm currently working a much, much longer changki fic that'll actually have a set update schedule! i'm hoping to post the first chapter before the end of the year! in the meantime i'll try to post a couple of things here and there!
> 
> come yell at me or something idk  
> twt: @whoami_mp3


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